Sexy Haikus

I am going home.

Because I’m grouchy and tired.

Then I’ll masturbate.


I apologize,

For calling you Timothy.

When clearly you’re Jeff.


Once upon a time,

two or more people had sex,

and it was awkward.


Let’s have sexy times. 

There is nothing on Netflix,

that I want to watch. 


Sometimes sex is nice.

But reading a book alone,

Meets more of my needs.


Being hugged by them

Is just as satisfying

As penetration


Your pheromones smell

Like joy, and food, and safety

Fucking delicious


Caroline 12/17/19